Sands of Destruction Episode 1: Review In Tweets

Mike Ferreira (Editor) — March 30th, 2010
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The content of this piece was written on a viewing of the first episode of Sands of Destruction on February 3, 2010. Edits have been made for spelling and grammar, but the rest is completely untouched, and un-edited from the original Twitter feed.

9:26 PM: Tonight's feature: Sands of Destruction! The anime, based on the RPG by Sega!

9:26 PM: It's got a reputation for being godawful already. Hey... should the DVD case give off stink lines?

9:26 PM: Anyway, the usual background info

9:27 PM: Animated by Production I.G., directed by Shunsuke Tada.

9:27 PM: Ran on TV Tokyo and AT-X from July 7, 2008 to September 30, 2008.

9:29 PM: "A Planet where the seas are filled with sand/A world where beasts live as men/A world where men are ruled by beasts"

9:29 PM: ...this isn't porno, is it? :I Anyway, I digress

9:30 PM: Holy crap is that a horse man?

9:31 PM: And a lion guy?

9:31 PM: "Unfortunately, I'm the kind of hero who DOESN'T save the world." Oh ffs...

9:31 PM: And he's an alcoholic teddy bear. That's... ... nice

9:32 PM: man with cat ears and a giant ferretman... epic.

9:33 PM: "I ordered the WHALE" ... ... this is terrible dialogue

9:33 PM: "how's about you and me-" oh god it IS a porno D:

9:33 PM: Girl walkin out on the stormtroopers..

9:34 PM: Who wields a bat'leth

9:34 PM: Opening? Techno!

9:35 PM: Bad techno!

9:35 PM: ...why do I get the feeling that the intro's the best part of this show?

9:35 PM: RAWKIN GUITAR kicks in! >_<\\_//

9:36 PM: Apparently, this girl can swing a huge bat'leth fast enough to deflect five machine guns.

9:36 PM: ...there goes the store

9:37 PM: Holy crap, a mentally challenged rhino man with permenant ":D" face!

9:37 PM: Back to teddy the drunk.

9:38 PM: Being hired by a kid... with moneys.

9:38 PM: Evil cat man with a pink shirt!

9:38 PM: And an okama inflection!

9:38 PM: brain suddenly hurts

9:38 PM: "MEOWSSIR!"

9:38 PM: "Why would a human work in a beastman cafe?" Cash money?

9:38 PM: ...

9:39 PM: money.

9:40 PM: "How did you know my name? T_T" Uhhh... wanted posters? >_>A-DUH?!

9:40 PM: "I'M 16! There's a BIG DIFFERENCE between 16 and 17!" Oh, I get it. It's funny because women are concerned about their ages.

9:41 PM: ha...ha... god, this sucks

9:41 PM: "What IS the World Destruction group?" ...hmmmm~ obvious plot device is obvious

9:42 PM: "We're just wanderers passing through :D" No, she's not a danger... he just wields a fucking Klingon armament!

9:43 PM: Elder stares at the two... one of which, again, WIELDING A BAT'LETH, and offers them a night in his village. Brilliant!

9:44 PM: Ohhh... I get it. Kyrie's a glutton! :O 'cause boys like to eat! haha ha... Is this over yet?

9:44 PM: "Where are you going? :D" "To destroy the world T_T"

9:45 PM: "All I'm interested in is smashing this ridiculous world to pieces." ...oh god, she's an emo too!

9:46 PM: "You should probably wait it out... until the end of the world comes." ugh..

9:47 PM: Shout out to @animealmanac - be glad you skipped this show. It's one of the most retarded things I've ever seen!

9:47 PM: "And I won't let anybody stand in my-" "SNXXXXXXXXX" ha... ha... sleeping when he's supposed to be listening. 'cause guys do that.

9:48 PM: Eyecatch!

9:48 PM: wait...


9:49 PM: okama cats are here to take emo-wench

9:49 PM: hooray... or not

9:49 PM: "She didn't eat the sand jellyfish?! D:" wtf.

9:49 PM: how obvious does this show get?

9:50 PM: "Someting terrible is about to happen D:"

9:50 PM: so... they're sacrificing the dude now? Guess this god isn't very picky.

9:51 PM: "Meowgolus meowgolus meow meow meow!" Translation: "We paid a writer 20 bucks and got this!"

9:52 PM: ...ewwwww. Kyrie eating monster spit. This show just got even MORE unappealing

9:52 PM: not just any monster. A Giant, SPERM shaped monster.

9:52 PM: Bat'leth girl comes to save the day :O

9:53 PM: ...doesn't help that this show is butt-ugly, to boot

9:53 PM: Girl v. Spermbeast GO!

9:53 PM: My money is on the girl, but I want the spermbeasts to eat her

9:54 PM: Would've made this show MUCH shorter

9:54 PM: ...yep. Spermbeasts got gunned down by the mercs

9:54 PM: Back to alcoholic teddy!

9:54 PM: Mercenaries have knives... they gon' cut ya!

9:55 PM: At least the fight scenes look pretty good

9:55 PM: nice animation, actually pretty slick

9:55 PM: And the fun is over

9:56 PM: Apparently, the sperm beasts are mouths on... a vaginapus? '_' wtf, Japan

9:56 PM: "Are you hurt little girl?" Uhhh, that's not... oh screw it -_-

9:57 PM: Yay! Doomsday device is coming to live!

9:57 PM: to life, too!

9:57 PM: And the vagoopus is angry

9:58 PM: Obvious plot twist again - Kyrie can activate the magic death ball

9:59 PM: And they're off to new adventures!

9:59 PM: The bear's gonna cut a bitch

9:59 PM: "What do we do now?" "We're going to destroy the world!"

9:59 PM: FINALLY the end credits. :)

10:01 PM: Actually, a pretty nice soft rock melody..

10:02 PM: Looks like it's Memory of the Wind ~to the end of the world~ by Aimmy

10:03 PM: Verdict: This. Show. SUCKS.

10:04 PM: Absolutely STUPID plot, crappy characters, and cringeworthy writing all come together for this one.

10:04 PM: You really couldn't pay me to watch more of this.

10:05 PM: I mean, sheeze, Sega... why couldn't you just be awesome and commission an anime based on Phantasy Star 4? That would've been awesome.

10:06 PM: sigh... Oh well. I feel sorry for the poor soul who happens on this turd.