The content of this piece was written on a viewing of the first episode of Cyberteam in Akihabara on February 16, 2010.

9:18 PM: Tonight, I'll be writing up the first episode of Cyberteam in Akihabara, which arrived on Saturday.

9:19 PM: [ANN Editor Zac Bertschy] calls it "fucking dire", so let's see just what I got myself into... and if I'll be gouging my eyes out by the end of 26 episodes.

9:22 PM: Anyway, the usual: It's a Satoru Akahori (Saber Marionette J, Abenobashi, Maze, Sorcerer Hunters) show. '98 vintage.

9:22 PM: Time to start this one up. -gulp-

9:22 PM: CYBER TEAM in AKIHABARA - apparently, "in" isn't an important word anymore.

9:24 PM: "I'm Hibari Hanakoganei, your average 12 year old girl who happens to think she might just be a bit cute!"

9:24 PM: ...30 seconds in and I already have diabetes D:

9:24 PM: "I'm starting Jr. High!" - And opening credits

9:24 PM: Masami Okui ftw!

9:25 PM: Lots of psychedelic colors and clearly underage females.

9:25 PM: ...Something says this is aimed at the youngest of youngsters.

9:26 PM: Show start! Sunset... with a random smiley um... girl?

9:26 PM: ...and now an alarm clock that wouldn't last 5 minutes in a sane person's house.

9:26 PM: "Wake up, Hibari :O"

9:27 PM: "that dream again... am I in love? *_* " ummm... sure, why not?

9:27 PM: In the future, clothes fasten themselves!

9:27 PM: Oh my Jesus... the acting in this is fucking terrible!

9:27 PM: Hibari's a bitch... stole her dad's toast >:(

9:28 PM: "We should get you a gift for starting junior high :D" obvious plot device is obvious

9:28 PM: PATA PI :O ...it's... a developmentally disabled blob. What the crap

9:29 PM: And there's mafia guys with maracas. Japan, you so crazy~!

9:29 PM: And, obviously, Hibari wants one >_> Vapid thing. Dad's smart to get his ass out now

9:30 PM: "MY GIFT! D:" and eyecatch!

9:30 PM: ...that was a quick half! :) Maybe this won't be so bad

9:30 PM: wait.

9:30 PM: 2 minutes?

9:30 PM: WHAT THE CRAP

9:31 PM: Sigh... oh well. At least we have some more Masami Okui in an interlude.

9:31 PM: Enter Hibari's over-formal friend... who has a "pata-pi" thing... I predict jealousy and/or rage. Preferably rage

9:32 PM: "Oh me my. That is grave news, that it is!" ...is this English?

9:32 PM: Pata-pi shown... and Hibari's... happy? And... jealous

9:33 PM: "Good morning, Fran-chan! :D" Eyecatch!

9:33 PM: ...I'm going to kill the animators for getting my hopes up this much.

9:33 PM: This is pretty damn vapid

9:34 PM: More pata-pi stuff at school

9:34 PM: "My, how so very 'tacky'!" yes, yes it is. Like the rest of this show. I agree, Suzume

9:34 PM: "At this school, bringing Pata-pis to school is BANNED!" thank god

9:34 PM: "No way ;_;" -EYECATCH!-

9:34 PM: Seriously.

9:35 PM: In the name of the goddess, I'm going to put the hurt on whoever decided a million eyecatches was a good thing.

9:36 PM: "Why do they have to ban pata-pi?!" - uhhh... 'cause it makes sense? :D but nope - "CUZ GROW'D UPS ARE STUPID AN' STUFF T_T" is my guess.

9:37 PM: More wisdom from Suzume - "Why must you, who do not possess a Pata-Pi be so very angry, Hibari?"

9:37 PM: I swear - logic only applies to the one that talks funny

9:37 PM: UFO catcher time :D And Hibari fails... again

9:38 PM: Holy crap - old pervert! With a thing for Hibari's panties!

9:38 PM: ...-sigh- I'm at a loss '_'

9:38 PM: "He's waiting for you on the hill ahead of here... your dear prince!"

9:38 PM: AKA lord smiley from the beginning

9:39 PM: At the hill! :O

9:39 PM: And... no prince. Surprise~

9:39 PM: But wait! Obvious plot twist go!

9:40 PM: Hibari gets a Pata-pi! Honestly - who didn't see this coming?

9:40 PM: ...I still say those things are hideous

9:40 PM: Eyecatch!

9:40 PM: What is that? Six now?

9:40 PM: "You're so cute! :D" no it's not!

9:41 PM: Pata-pi has a name: Densuke

9:41 PM: ...this time for real

9:42 PM: I hope

9:42 PM: "You 'gotta get 'em all'ed a Pata-pi?" uhhh... sure. Whatever.

9:43 PM: I cannot stand the acting in this show. I might switch to the dub to see how bad THAT gets

9:43 PM: Screw it. Let's do it!

9:43 PM: ...augh! My ears!

9:43 PM: That's even more dire!

9:44 PM: back to the show - "Are you sure it's smart to bring a pata-pi to school?" Again, logic doesn't apply to this stupid girl

9:45 PM: Suzume's Pata-pi's full name: Francesca Leopold Classic Renoir Zunhatha III Junior - I have to admit it... that's pretty damn epic.

9:46 PM: Densuke went mute. "Right Densuke?" "..."

9:46 PM: "Densuke! Densuke! Densuke Densuke Densuke!"

9:46 PM: "Perhaps it is a bootleg, that it is." Suzume enjoys crushing girls' spirits.

9:47 PM: Attendance - with that guy that said Pata-pi were banned

9:47 PM: "Poopie~!" My opinion of this show exactly, Densuke

9:47 PM: And Hibari takes it out... smart girl

9:48 PM: "He's just a little slow, that's all!" I'm not even going to touch that one.

9:48 PM: CONFISCATE'D!

9:49 PM: Eyecatch!

9:49 PM: What's that, nine now?

9:49 PM: "This is SO not my day" - not her day because she lacks common sense

9:50 PM: Uh oh~! Hibari has to see the Principal over this!

9:50 PM: Principal = pimp.

9:50 PM: He has the shades and 'stache

9:50 PM: "I like this city called Akihabara. Do you like it too?" "Y-yes sir! I do too!" "Thanks. You can go now." WAT

9:51 PM: Sir Smiley - aka "Hibari's prince" exists

9:52 PM: "I wonder where he went!" ...don't know, don't care.

9:52 PM: I swear, those are becoming more of an unintentional hilarity now

9:52 PM: "let's take a shortcut! :D" - uhhh...

9:52 PM: does this girl not learn?

9:53 PM: -splat!- into giant boobs!

9:53 PM: "OHOHOHOHOHOHOO!" Every female baddie has that laugh... why?

9:53 PM: "What do you have in your handbag... big sister knows :3" uhhhh o_o

9:54 PM: ...her breasts bounce more than the DOA girls

9:54 PM: And Densuke proves to be slow again.

9:54 PM: "CONFISCATE! -bouncebounce-" Preach it bouncy bad girl!

9:55 PM: ...and she's... massaging her tits and moaning now? '_________________' I feel.. dirty.

9:55 PM: "That lady definitely has some screws loose!" ...she's loose, alright!

9:55 PM: And she apparently controls monsters.

9:56 PM: golems, to be exact.

9:56 PM: "Homunculus-chansuu!"

9:57 PM: And they have the Pata-pi! "he's going to learn all sorts of things!" uhh... there are bigger things to worry about, Hibari.

9:57 PM: Bad Girl gets serious - Cereberos! Which looks... like a Big Daddy

9:58 PM: Sheeze - the way Hibari's talking now, you'd think the "prince" knocked her up.

9:58 PM: ominous glow and giant sky-splitting laser with peppy trumpet music

9:58 PM: ...Densuke evolves into naked lady!

9:59 PM: ...not so naked anymore

9:59 PM: That apparently kicks ass and takes names

10:00 PM: "how dare you do that to my cute li'l Hommys!" This is how she rolls. She rollin, bad chick hatin' (and talking in a Kansai accent)

10:01 PM: Sorry, Big Daddy... your epic entrance was wasted by a 2 second attack. anti-climactic~

10:01 PM: And the credits... holy crap

10:01 PM: This show is VILE

10:02 PM: Words can't even describe how freaking bad that was. Freakin' A!