Magical Blandness: Fairy Tail, Episode 1

Mike Ferreira (Editor) — January 8th, 2012
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The content of this piece was written during a viewing of the first episode of Fairy Tail, on October 29, 2011. Edits have been made for spelling and grammar, but the rest is completely untouched, and un-edited from its original format.

3:21 PM: Welcome one and all to a snowblogging showblog!
3:21 PM: Today, I'll be covering .@FUNimation's release of Fairy Tail.
3:21 PM: Since it's been a good four months, I'll give a quick refresher for those who haven't joined us before.
3:21 PM: This is a live review of the first episode of a show. Basically, every reaction, every single opinion as it occurs in real time.
3:22 PM: The format was chosen because gives a somewhat more accurate representation of how watching the show would leave a viewer...
3:22 PM: ...as opposed to pages of hard copy.
3:22 PM: And that's about it! :)
3:22 PM: Before we begin, let's get the basic information out of the way.
3:23 PM: Directed by Shinji Ishihara (Tokyo Majin, Aoi Kokuhaku)
3:23 PM: Music by Yasuharu Takanashi (Hell Girl, Naruto Shippuden)
3:23 PM: Character designs by Aoi Yamamoto
3:23 PM: Animated by A-1 Pictures & Satelight
3:23 PM: Opening Theme: Snow Fairy by FUNKIST
3:23 PM: Ending Theme: Kanpeki gu~no ne by Watarirouka Hashiri Tai
3:23 PM: Now, let's get this thing moving!
3:24 PM: Cold open to a map, and a narration about a country called Fiore
3:24 PM: In a magic world, where magic is aparently a commodity
3:25 PM: Wizards = people that use magic for hire, wrk in guilds, bah blah
3:25 PM: There's one guild that's birthed countless legends known as Fairy Tail.
3:26 PM: And opening - LOTS of "OH YEAYH!"
3:27 PM: And now we begin the show proper
3:27 PM: Which starts in a port town known as Hargeon
3:27 PM: HOLY SHIT DORAEMON TAUNTING A BUM
3:27 PM: Oh, wait.
3:28 PM: It's just a motion sick traveler who just got stuck on another train ride... I think that's supposed to be funny
3:28 PM: Anyway... there's apparently only one magic shop in the town
3:28 PM: And only 1/10 of the population in town uses magic
3:28 PM: The magic shop dude is freaking awesome.
3:29 PM: He's loving his color changer, and rocking magical color-shifting clothes like a boss.
3:29 PM: His customer though? Looking for a Gate? Looks like a key
3:30 PM: She's apparently been looking for it, it's 20 large, she's trying to sex up the badass shopkeep for a discount
3:30 PM: ...Did it work? :V Nope. Hah! Only a 1,000 jewel (moneys) discount
3:30 PM: Apparently, a famous wizard named Salamander is in town
3:30 PM: Doraemon cat = Happy. gotcha.
3:31 PM: And our carsick traveler's rushing toward the wizard, too.
3:31 PM: I smell fate!
3:32 PM: Hah - girl from the shop is having a love-love moment. That's ruined by the traveler.
3:32 PM: Hah... He spurned the hot wizard and got beaten down by the crowd.
3:32 PM: Twice
3:33 PM: Hot Wizard Salamander (TM) is havign an orgy, sorry, "party" on his boat tonight
3:33 PM: And now we have traveler guy, who has a name (Natsu) and Happy enjoying their first meal in ages, apparently..
3:34 PM: Salamander knows charm magic - he's a creep of epic proportions apparently.
3:34 PM: And the girl is a guild-less wizard. A Ronin wizard if you may
3:34 PM: ...I get the feeling that I should be laughing at this, but I'm not.
3:35 PM: "You talk a lot" THANK YOU, Happy for stating this! :D
3:35 PM: And apparently, Natsu and Happy are looking for A salamander - a fire dragon
3:35 PM: Which is like saying you're looking for a damn unicorn.
3:36 PM: Thankful Natsu and Happy are thankful
3:36 PM: And they get an idea - they try to pawn off Salamander's autograph.
3:36 PM: Apparently, Fairy Tail is a guild of Lina Inverses.
3:36 PM: Lots of good, lots of destruction... etc
3:37 PM: PROTIP: WIzard magazines are basically SI Swimsuit Issues with better articles, or something :P
3:37 PM: And the girl wants to join Fairy Tail... enter Salamander
3:38 PM: Who wants to sex up our blonde protaganist
3:38 PM: Apparently, he's a member of Fairy Tail on top of being a class-A creep
3:38 PM: And he's putting in a good word with the guildmaster to get blondie there.
3:39 PM: Yeah... This is just... i dunno
3:39 PM: Eyecatch!
3:39 PM: Brief analysis: This is one of the blandest shows I've ever seen. Like, EVER
3:39 PM: The characters are one-dimensional, the jokes are stale as hell, and the cast... they don't do any favors either.
3:40 PM: I do dig the setting, though. It's nice to see a world get fleshed out a bit like this.
3:40 PM: Anyway, back to the show
3:40 PM: And we're with Natsu and Salamander
3:41 PM: Natsu is getting seasick just thinking about the boat ride
3:41 PM: And now he's debating whether he should go onboard to get into Fairy Tail
3:41 PM: FINALLY! We get a god damn name for blondie - Lucy.
3:41 PM: "Savor the jewels of fruit juice as they enter your mouth" oh god, Salamander's going to rape her.
3:42 PM: Apparently, Lucy realizes this, too
3:42 PM: And he was going to freaing roofie her with sleep magic... #wtfmate
3:42 PM: Yeeep - Salamander wasn't really a wizard. #WhoDidn'tSeeThatComing
3:43 PM: And he took Lucy's gate keys - she's a celestial wizard, which requires the keys or something
3:43 PM: And in comes Natsu to the (inadvertent) rescue!
3:43 PM: ...Ohp - he's throwing up nw
3:44 PM: And Happy makes a daring rescue! He gets the women, this time around.
3:44 PM: "Pretty :V" ...that made me snicker more than it should have
3:44 PM: And rescue failed - Happy and Lucy drop into the drink! :V
3:45 PM: Ohp - Lucy got her keys... shit's going to get real
3:45 PM: She summons mermaids.. who are pissed off about having their keys dropped
3:46 PM: ...This really does feel like a wannabe One Piece in a lot of ways, from the art style to the premise
3:46 PM: The Mermaid's getting more action than Lucy apparently :P
3:47 PM: And shit's getting real - Natsu's going to kick some ass.
3:47 PM: Natsu really IS from Fairy Tail - Salamander = Bora the Prominence -a former wizard in another guild
3:47 PM: There's a distinct lack of tension in these battles
3:48 PM: And apparently, Natsu EATS FUCKING FIRE
3:48 PM: ...before launching it out at his foes.
3:49 PM: Natsu = the REAL Salamander. OK, who didn't see that coming?
3:49 PM: Come on, raise your hands.
3:50 PM: And we have the battle raging on... well... moving in flashy, over-the-top moves.
3:51 PM: Ohp - here comes the army. And Natsu and co. make a break for it. Party member GET! in Lucy
3:51 PM: And end credits
3:51 PM: Short verdict: I love the world, love the visual style... but I'm not enamored with everything else
3:52 PM: It just feels like they're trying TOO hard, and delivering something that's fairly dull and sanitized in the process.
3:53 PM: In short: It's an adventure written by a committee. It's safe, it's OKAY, but they just don't do enough with the pieces at this point.
3:55 PM: It's... well... more of a disappointment, really.
3:55 PM: Anyway, thanks for joining today! I hope you have a great rest of the weekend!

Thanks to FUNimation for providing a review copy!