Star Dreck XVII: The Glass Fleet

Matt Brown (Editor in Chief) — October 14th, 2011
Text Size: smaller text normal text size bigger text

The Glass Fleet dazzles us with mediocrity from the get-go — sparing much expense on class-project-grade CG space battles and effects, and a plot that lacks luster almost as much as it lusts to be lax. Why, it's almost as if the thing were produced by Gonzo. Oh. It was. Speaking of lust, the main characters do an awful lot of it toward each other, and they're all male. In a shocking inversion of anime misogyny, the more-masculine leads somehow lose their shirts in battle while the androgynous one, a fellow that goes by the Nomme de Machismo of Michel, watches in a paralyzed and bothered state. But he's mostly interested in the former royalty, Cleo, while the current Evil Emperor, Vetti, has the attentions of a young male servant named Ralph instead. Ralph symbolizes what people will want to do while watching this show.

You see, the whole thing starts when Michel is PMSing and decides to overthrow a couple space governments during a marriage ceremony. Perhaps he was unlucky in love, once, or perhaps he's just a bored NEET. At any rate, the military might of the Empire bears down on his less than adequate rebellion, and in true ├╝ber-mensch fashion, he cries out for some other hero to get him out of this pickle. Cue the CG-glazed and royal-seal emblazoned Deus Ex Arcadia, piloted by a man who can be best described as...not Captain Harlock.

Meanwhile, Vetti lusts after Michel, due either to the latter's Barbie-esque physique, or his petty resistance to the long member of the law. In fact, the only thing that doesn't wreak of sexual tension is the aforementioned battle, which also starts in a bar. This much can be appreciated, despite neither lead losing teeth or singing drunken Irish songs afterward. (Yes, I realize that "drunken Irish" is redundant.)

Conclusion?

Warning: if you didn't grow up in the 80s, you may not be able to withstand the show's double-rainbow powers.