Bee Train has a distinguished record of failing to please me. Despite Mr. Koichi Mashimo (The Irresponsible Captain Tylor, Eat-Man) having veritable anime-god status, the only thing I've both seen and somewhat liked from his studio is the .hack//STUFF. Why am I saying this? To put it into perspective that when I say I liked Murder Princess, I mean that this is a momentous occasion. And the amazing thing is: they did it without a Yuki Kajiura soundtrack.

The show couldn't be more ordinary, at least in the Gaiman-esque "Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House of the Night of Dread Desire" (or more succinctly, the FLCL) sense. And that's the best part about it. It doesn't depict assassins dressing up in red after [what I have to assume is] an acid trip before wiping out whole military camps, or acting out poor imitations of Léon: The Professional where the scared little girl is actually a killing genius. Nor does it follow a revenge-obsessed girl through the Mars wasteland, out in search of the sense of humor that she'll never find. No, Murder Princess wants to be bad, and I admire that spirit.

As the story opens, the once bright and shiny paradise known as the Kingdom of Forland (motto: we'll do anything for land!) is under siege by one of its own scientists. Armed with only two lolicon robots from the Age of Lost Technology, Dr. Akamashi makes an easy run of the castle, forcing the young Princess Alita to escape with a couple of fodder troops. She flees into the forest, where of course she is attacked by a gigantic monster. Then, she is nearly beheaded as she runs into a swordswoman (Falis) and sends them both tumbling off a cliff.

When they reach hard ground all too soon, each finds that her sore butt belongs to the other girl! They've switched bodies, somehow, but Falis, who now looks like Alita, still has the ability to make short work of the monster. Their dialogue at this moment is as follows:

Alita: Please help me take back my kingdom!
Falis: No.
Alita: You can be the princess if you help me!
Falis: OK.

So begins the one-woman (+2 hired hands) barrage of Forland Castle, and subsequent re-education of Falis so that she can pass for an über-badass version of Alita. All so that the real Alita, who now looks like Falis, can play maid for the uncultured princess, and ensure that the show meets its subservient-female quota. Add in a few action shots, some lesbian tension, and a quick perusal of Skymall, and you'll arrive at the Dramatic Showdown to Save Tokyo Tower or Some Other Thing.

But first, a short pause to highlight what makes this show a good watch. It's the loli-bots: Ana with her sharp tongue and Go-Go-Gadget Boxing Glove, and Yuna, who likes to let loose with an army's worth of explosives and firepower when her compatriots are threatened — except when doing so is actually useful, in which case she declares she's out of ammo. The honorable mention goes to Alita herself (the real Alita), who cranks out some quality drama scenes whenever she's not having a yuri moment (or worse).

I neglected to mention the Arch Villain and his World Destruction Plan, but I don't have to. Wikipedia has his name conveniently filed under "Enemies," if you want to be spoiled right away. Otherwise, it's blindingly obvious the moment his name is uttered, and he serves no useful purpose other than being the girls' opposition.

Murder Princess gets a Bastard!! vibe going for a bit, but falls short of its spiritual predecessor due to lack of crude sex humor and a general failure to go over the top. It's good for a bit of fun, but its effect wears off quickly.